Why Is It Hard to Receive?

This is not just a conversation for me, it’s a part of my healing process. So, I want to touch on a topic that many of us don’t often talk about why it’s hard to receive. We’re the nurturers. The caretakers. The strong ones. And while we give so much, we often forget how to receive—with openness, ease, and without guilt.

So many of us need to heal the part of us that feels unworthy of being poured into.

The Giving One

So, my question is How many of you are ‘the strong friend? The one everyone calls on. The one who’s always pouring into others, holding it down, making sure everyone’s good even when you’re running on empty?

Many of us were raised to believe our value lies in how much we do for others. We were taught to serve, to sacrifice, and to put ourselves last. Especially as people of color, there’s a cultural narrative of being the backbone strong, selfless, unshakeable.

I believe That strength is beautiful. But it can become a cage when it doesn’t allow us to receive.”

What’s Blocking Us from Receiving?

Why is it so hard for us to receive it?

Here are some reasons I’ve uncovered—within myself, and in conversations with other

• Control. When you’re used to being the giver, receiving can feel like losing control. Like you’re vulnerable—or even weak.

• Fear. Some of us have opened our hearts before and been disappointed. So now, we avoid letting others show up for us.

• Unworthiness. Deep down, some of us feel like we have to earn our blessings. Like rest, love, or abundance must be ‘deserved.’

• Hyper-independence. We wear it like a badge ‘I got it.’ ‘I’ll do it myself.’ But it’s often rooted in survival, not strength.

  
  

Ask do any of these resonate with you? Where am I blocking the flow of receiving in my life?”

The Sacred Feminine & Receiving

Receiving is not lazy. It’s not weak. It’s not selfish. Receiving is sacred.

It’s part of the divine feminine energy that lives in every single one of us. That energy is open, intuitive, magnetic, and powerful. It attracts. It allows. It trusts. We are not just meant to give—we are meant to receive, too. To receive love, care, softness, pleasure, support, wealth, favor… all of it.

In my healing journey I have to say to myself “Receiving is my birthright.”

Giving from Overflow, Not Emptiness

When we don’t allow ourselves to receive, we start giving from depletion instead of abundance.

• That’s when giving feels heavy.

• That’s when resentment builds.

• That’s when burnout kicks in.

But when we receive, when we fill our own cup, we give from a place of overflow. From joy, not obligation. From love, not exhaustion.

If this is you ask yourself: Are you giving from a full place? Or are you running on fumes?”

Practicing the Art of Receiving

So how do we begin to receive again? How do we unlearn the guilt and embrace the grace?

Here are a few practices I’ve started doing:

• Say yes when someone offers help, even if it feels uncomfortable.

• Ask for what you need, instead of hoping someone will guess.

• Rest without guilt. Rest is not laziness—it’s restoration.

• Enjoy life’s pleasures without apology. You don’t have to earn joy.

Right now, I want you to speak this into existence. Complete the sentence: ‘I am ready to receive…’

Go ahead and say it out loud.”

Affirmations

I want to share a few affirmations that are helping me.

• I release guilt and embrace grace.

• I am worthy of rest, love, help, and abundance.

• I honor the sacred balance between giving and receiving.

• I allow myself to receive without fear or apology.

I’ve learned receiving is just as powerfully as we give.